What a morning

Let me give a little back story...last week someone posted on my local Craig's List that they wanted to sell some cockatiels, but if they didn't get the money they would release them to the river. I sent them an email and told them I would foster the birds but only if they surrendered, I would not pay. Well, Friday I came home with 2 cockatiels.
Now on to my morning: So this particular morning I got up, and as I was getting ready to get in the shower Joey(son) knocks on the door. I say what? I hear “whomp whoomp womp whomp blarg.” I tell him to open the door so I can hear him. He tells me the bird cage is down, and the birds are missing. (BTW I discovered they are girls so I changed their names to Thelma and Louise).
So I go out there, and sure enough cage is on the floor and bird seed is everywhere. Travis(friend of son) and Joey are in a panic because they can’t find the birds. I tell them to quit looking on the ground. They look up and the birds are sitting on the fireplace mantle just looking around.
I clean up the mess and put the cage back together. Then dumb Travis decides he’s going to try to catch the birds. They don’t know him so of course they fly away. Now they’re agitated all over again. I put the dogs out, cause big ol Jedi is just in the way. Lock the cats in my room, and attempt to catch the birds. I go get one off the Jay & Silent Bob picture, and she bites the holy hell out of my index finger. You know what’s in your index finger? Yep a pulse point. So blood is spurting from my finger in shots, I let go of the bird and she flies and hides behind the deep fryer (let me tell you I was almost tempted). So I put pressure on my finger and clean up the blood spurts (looked like a bad horror flick I swear). I go over and use my other hand to catch her, and throw her into the cage. She of course bit the index finger on that hand too. So THEN, I go to catch the other bird, she’s hanging on the picture above the fireplace. I get a broom to scare her down, and she flies to the window. I sprayed her with water and caught her then put her back into the cage. Then I cleaned up the rest of the blood, and made some coffee.